Sunday, January 9, 2011

Catching Up

Wow - it has been a while... where to start....

Well, these little guys have been keeping me very busy (hense the lack of blog updates). There is one thing I need to get off my chest first though... let me just say for all you moms-to-be out there, no one really told me how hard being a mom would be - I mean yeah we all know it will be hard, but I'm talking about all the moments where you feel completely inadequet and feel like you have no idea what your doing and are left wondering if you are the only new mom to feel this lost. None of your friends share their moments of weakness and insecurity, or talk about how they too have cried in the shower questioning whether they are going to be/are being a good mom. With as much as I lean on my own mom, cousins, books and the internet - I'm left wondering how on earth moms did it back in the day. I guess I thought I would have some kind of internal instinctual switch that would flip on the second my babies were born and I would just know how to do everything - and when I didn't, I felt like I fell short as a mom. I didn't have the "baby blues" or anything, it was just moments of weakness and insecurity - and I'm sure there will be more as I continue on this journey of motherhood - and now that I have talked to my friends and discovered that they too share in these moments, I wanted to make sure that I put it out there so no one else feels like they are the only ones. OK - now that I have that out of the way, here's what's been going on...


Emma has excellent head control, she has for a while - this child is strong - I swear is she like a tank! She can already sit in her bumbo like a champ, even though she doesn't really like it much - in fact she really only seems to like to be held - yay. Max however is still working on his neck strength, he's not quite there yet but he's getting there. Emma is a smiling queen, she loved to smile, especially when getting her diaper or clothes changed or when you make funny faces/sounds at her. She likes to talk too. She does most of her talking during tummy time and after she eats. Max on the other hand seems to be more of the quiet and serious type. He smiles occasionally (mostly for daddy) and will talk sometimes while he is playing on the playmat. I am hoping that he starts to smile more in the coming weeks. They both LOVE to stare at this canvas painting of a tree that is hung on the wall above the couch - I swear I think they could sit and stare at it all day! They also both seem to enjoy tummy time - which is apparently unusual - I guess most babies don't like it. I really think Max will be the first to crawls b/c he will just lay there and kick those legs like he's swimming, he can even scoot himself forward on the blanket! - whereas Emma just lays there like a log. Neither one are attempting to roll over just yet - but we'll keep trying. Another thing Max LOVES to do is stretch - I think it's his favorite thing. Every time we get him up from his nap, he likes to spend a good 5-10 minutes stretching. The only thing he loves more than stretching is kicking!


They are still on their schedule, eating every three hours (except for at night). They had been getting up around 6a, but recently have started extending the hours they sleep at night and instead of getting up at 3am and again at 6 - they have stopped the 3a feedings and are now getting up around 4/4:30 and then again around 8am - so now we are working on adjusting our schedule. They always have their last feeding between 9-10p and are now sleeping about 6-7 hours thru the night :) I have heard that 12 pounds was kind of the magic number for them sleeping thru the night - and that seems to be about right. They recently had their 2 month check up, here are their stats:


Emma
*Weight: 10lbs15.4oz
Weight Percentile: 55% (big jump!)
Height/Length: 22 in
Height/Length Percentile: 30%
Head Circumference: 38.5 cm
Head Circumference Percentile: 45%
Hair color - still blond
Eye color - still a bluish grey color


*we had to go to the dr. again last week b/c they were sick and she weighed in at 11 lbs. 15oz


Max
*Weight: 10lbs6.6oz
Weight Percentile: 25%
Height/Length: 22 1/2 in
Height/Length Percentile: 25%
Head Circumference: 38.5 cm
Head Circumference Percentile: 20%
Hair color - still brown
Eye color - still brown


*we had to go to the dr. again last week b/c they were sick and he weighed in at 11 lbs. 3.4oz


They have both graduated from NB diapers and have been in the 1's for a couple weeks now - in fact they will very soon be moving on to the 2's! I had a very sad moment a few weeks ago when I finally had to admit to myself that Emma did not fit into her NB clothes anymore and it was time to fold them and put them away :( Most of them she never even wore. Which reminds me... another tip for new moms... don't get a lot of NB clothes - they wore like maybe 10 different outfits - at least that was the case for me. Now we are well into the 0-3's for both Max and Emma. I emptied Max's closet of the NB clothes last week :( I didn't know I would be so emotional about it - but it was sad realizing that they were growing so fast! They are both up to about 4.5-5 ounces per feeding and taking 6 feedings a day. I am still pumping after each feeding and am up to 20 ounces a day - which comes out to the babies getting about 1/3 breast milk and 2/3 formula. My supply is still slowly increasing, so hopefully I can get up to half and half and maybe even catch up to them around 6 months when they start eating solid foods - we'll see! I'm still taking Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, and Reglan everyday to help increase my supply. It's a lot of work, and I certainly have days where I want to throw in the towel, but I just keep telling myself that it's the best thing I can do for my babies - and that something is better than nothing. I really try to cherish the moments I have with each of them when I'm nursing them, since I know I will never get to experience it again.


Max still struggles with his reflux and is taking Prevacid daily to help control the acid in his tummy. As a result of the reflux, feeding times are very LONG - I pray for the day that it doesn't bother him anymore - there is absolutely nothing worse than seeing your little baby suffering and in pain and not being able to do anything about it :( Emma has a little reflux issues too - but nothing like her brother. Her biggest issue is spitting up. The doctor calls her a "happy spitter" since it doesn't ever seem to bother her. This girl can go through some bibs and burp cloths let me tell ya!


Sadly, the babies have been sick for about 2 weeks now :( They have both been congested and Max has had a cough which we found out was Bronchiolitis. Because of the congestion, they can't breathe very well, and when you can't breathe very well, you don't really want to eat - so feeding times have been really fun! They have been averaging about an hour each to eat - which isn't soo bad when Jason is here - but during the day it is brutal! I feel like all I do all day is feed babies, pump, feed babies, pump, etc... until Jason comes home. They are slowly getting better though thank goodness! Max was prescribed 2 inhalers, which he hates, and we have been using vicks, the nose frida snotsucker (look it up - it is a MUST HAVE), and saline spray. Luckily, neither have had a fever - I just pray that this ends soon - I don't like having sick babies!


I have more to write about my solo trip to my parent’s house with the babies and Lucy, their first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, our first time out without the babies, etc - but it will have to wait because it is time to feed babies again!

Here's a couple of pics:































 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

4 weeks old!

I can't believe my sweet babies are 4 weeks old today! They are both doing great! They were weighed on Monday when we went for a visit to the lactation consultant and Emma weighed in at 7lbs 3oz and Max was up to 6lbs 14oz! Emma LOVES to eat and Max loves to sleep :) They have both been on a 3 hour feeding schedule since we were in the hospital and it really seems to be working well for all of us. Breastfeeding is going ok - I'm still a little behind on my milk production, but the LC seemed confident that I would be able to catch up in a few more weeks and may be able to drop the formula supplements - luckily neither of them have any latching issues, so fingers crossed it will work out - we shall see. Max is still very laid bad and doesn't seemed to be bothered by much, but he does have some reflux because of his flappy larynx which causes him to eat VERY SLOWLY - which is a pain in the butt at midnight and 3am when you just want to get it over with and go back to bed! Emma on the other hand will gulp it all down and still want more. She really likes her "wake time" and loves looking at her self in the mirror - such a girl! Both babies are so good - we are very blessed!

Here are some pics from the last couple weeks:

Max and Emma meet their great Papa


Max and Emma with their Na-nah (my mom)


My sweet sleeping beauty

Uncle Omar and Max

Emma loves to look at herself in the mirror


Had to throw this one in - gotta love a Lucy snarl :)



Max rockin his Aggie gear - I guess it helped 'cause they won - whoop (strickly for Jason's sake)

Too bad the same luck didn't work for Emma and her Longhorn gear, but we still love 'em - Hook 'em Horns!

Cutie pies

Our little butterball princess kickin it in the bouncy seat

Max and Emma meet Aunt Marcia and their other great Papa

Monday, November 8, 2010

Firsts for Max & Emma

Well... the babies are a little over 2 weeks old now! They had their 2 week check up on Tuesday and both Max and Emma are growing like little weeds! Here are their stats:
Emma
Weight: 6lbs 3.4oz (5% percentile)
Height/Length: 20in (50% percentile)
Head Circumference: 35cm (30% percentile)


Max
Weight: 5lbs 15oz (3% percentile)


Height/Length: 20in (25% percentile)
Head Circumference: 34cm (10% percentile)


*keep in mind that they should still be in the womb - they will not be "term" until Nov. 11th - that's why their percentages are lower.


Emma is doing fabulous and does not need to go back until her 2 month check up! Max on the other hand will need to go back next week to check on his breathing - they suspect he may have Laryngomalacia - which means that his larynx is a little flappy, but it's not a big deal and he will grow out of it - it just makes his breathing sound a little raspy. Other than that, he's doing great!


Both babies are nursing really well! I just wish I had enough milk to feed them both without having to supplement with formula :( Hopefully more will come in with time as my body continues to heal and adjust. We even attempted tandem nursing the other day and it went really well! I'm not confident enough to try it all by myself - so for now we only try it when daddy is home. I also had a check up this week and my incision is healing perfectly - it's still a little sore and I am reluctant to have anything apply pressure on it - so I am continuing to wear the super sexy granny panties and either really high waisted pants or really low waisted pants (mostly Jason's baggy cotton pajama pants). I have about 4 or 5 pounds to loose before I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight - pretty unbelievable!


Here are some pics from Emma and Max's first bath, first dr's visit, and first Halloween :)



First car ride



 
First Dr. Appt




 
Max's first bath


he really liked getting his hair washed

all clean :)

Emma's first bath - she hated it!

she is quite vocal and will gladly let you know if she doesn't like something!

She did seem to enjoy getting her hair washed - but who doesn't!

All clean!

Max and Emma chillin on the couch

Max's first Halloween - my precious little owl
 
Emma's first Halloween - momma's little ladybug

does it get any cuter than this?!

look at me I'm "0" months old!

 Look at me I'm "0" months old!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Happy Birthday Max and Emma!

Well Max and Emma have arrived! They came out kicking and screaming and absolutely perfect on Wednesday, 10/20/2010 :) Max Austin was born first at 8:07am weighing 5 pounds and 6 ounces and about 18 inches long and an apgar score of 8 (no nicu needed) and Emma Ryan was second at 8:08am weighing 5 pounds and 15 ounces (almost 6 pounds!) and she was 18 and a half inches long and her apgar score was a 9 (no nicu needed). I just cried and cried I was so happy when the nurses said that they were perfectly healthy! I am so very thankful and blessed that everything went so well with them.

Unfortunately, things didn't go so well with me after their delivery. After they were delivered, Jason went with them to the nursery while the doctors finished with me, but when removing one of my placentas I began to hemorrhage and was quickly loosing a lot of blood. I began to feel really lightheaded and nauseas, so they gave me a sedative which all but knocked me out (I could still hear things going on around me but I was out of it). Apparently my uterus would not contract despite the Dr. G doing everything he could, and I was loosing too much blood, so they had no choice but to remove my uterus to stop the hemorrhaging. By the time they sewed me up, an hour had passed and I had lost half my blood volume. They were on the fence about whether or not to give me a blood transfusion, as I was right on the cusp where I could go either way, but they decided not to do one. The nurse had ran out to tell Jason about what was going on in the OR, but they wouldn't allow him to come back in, so I can only imagine what kind of rollercoaster of emotions he was going through. Once everything was all finished, they took the sedative off and I was able to go to the recovery room and join Jason and our precious babies. 

Dr. G had sent my placenta and uterus off to the lab for testing and he called yesterday to let me know why all this had occurred... and apparently I had what they call placenta accrita - which means that the placenta attached itself too deeply to my uterus and there was nothing they could do but to remove it. My doctor went on to say that I did not fit the rule book for this condition as I never had any of the signs like bleeding during my pregnancy nor had  I ever had any uterine surgeries or previous c-section(s). So in light of this, I feel that much more blessed that the Lord has given us two beautiful, healthy, and perfect babies. I guess He really knows what He's doing and he really does have a plan for us all even if we can't see it or understand it. I have certainly had my moments in the last few days when I get very sad and cry thinking about how I will never get to experience being pregnant again. It's alot to deal with especially after everything I and we have been through to get to this point. It also doesn't help that I had the most wonderful pregnancy anyone could ever ask for - bedrest and all. I just really, really LOVED being pregnant. My advice to anyone out there that is pregnant - I know about 5 or 6 of you are (you know who you are) - take the time to really experience your pregnancy and embrace it and take the time to acknowledge the awesome power God has given you to grow a life within yourself - you'll be so glad you did - and you never know what can happen or when it might be the last time you are given this awesome opportunity.  



So...
Since I had lost so much blood, I am now anemic, which is making my recovery a little slower. I was finally able to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom and even take a 5 min shower (sitting of course) on Friday (2 days later) and was allowed to eat solid food again. After that, each day was a little easier and I was able to actually get out of bed, go to the bathroom, walk the hall and shower unassisted by Sunday morning. I was released on Sunday and things have been going relatively well since we've been home. The incision is still pretty sore and my body is still adjusting to its recent lack of blood, but thankfully my mom is here helping us, so we've just been trying to stay with our little 3,6,9,12 feeding routine and so far so good. I've really been trying to sleep any time they are sleeping - as I get tired out pretty easily. Nursing is also going pretty well considering all that is stacked against me with the twins being early and my anemia. I am nursing the babies, pumping, and supplementing with formula until my milk really starts to come in and until the babies reach term (Nov. 11th) - but it's all learning by fire for these first timers :) 

On a lighter note, Mr. Max loves to pee on his daddy! Jason has been so amazing - he is such an amazing, amazing man and father - I honestly don't know what I did to get so lucky! Jason has been on diaper duty all day everyday since the babies were born, I just recently have been able to get around enough to change a few here and there - but Jason completely got thrown into everything and has handled it with such grace, never once complaining - in fact he seems to take pride in his awesome diaper changing techniques and master swaddler title :) My heart just swells with all the love I have for these little miracles and for my best friend, husband, and father of our babies. Well, it looks like it's feeding time again, but here are a few pics for your viewing pleasure...


Last belly pic - 37 weeks :)




Last picture as a family of 2

 
Jason all geared up ready for the OR
 
First time holding my little angels

 
My perfect and beautiful babies (Emma on the left, Max on the right)
 
Emma (left) and Max (right)
 
Sweet babies Emma (left) Max (right)
 
Happy Birthday! Emma (left) Max (right)